


A Change Of Perspective

by jungle_ride



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Character Study, During Canon, Friendship, Gen, Implied/Referenced Chiba Mamoru/Tsukino Usagi, Male Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-28
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27245569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jungle_ride/pseuds/jungle_ride
Summary: Motoki had gone through the first seventeen years of his life never having any reason to doubt himself. Why should he when at work he was surrounded by admiring eyes and when he ventured to his family home was welcomed by the warm embrace of his mother's love and his little sisters affectionate eyes. Life had been unproblematic to Motoki, so when the time came for him to join college, there had been no nerves, in fact he had been looking forward to the new friends he was sure he’d make. He’d expected more of the same from what life had previously given him. After all, Motoki had never had any problem making friends, or at least that was how it had been before Mamoru had entered his life.
Relationships: Chiba Mamoru & Furuhata Motoki
Kudos: 2
Collections: Fic In A Box





	A Change Of Perspective

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SharkDash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharkDash/gifts).



Motoki Furuhata has always considered himself a likeable person. It’s not that he's big headed or enjoys tooting his own horn, it's just that throughout the majority of his life he has been able to traverse the sea of human interaction without ever meeting a storm or even a little rough waters (with one exception, but we'll get to that later). Everyone he has come into contact with has just liked him. For Motoki it was only then logical to conclude that the reason he was able to live as freely and unburned as he did, was solely due to his personality and temperament. Motoki Furuhata was just _that_ guy. 

Although Motoki had never been the _it_ boy or the heartthrob of his school, he had grown up surrounded by a good handful of friends. Friends that always praised him for his sunny outlook on life and how he was easy and agreeable. It probably helped that he was, _is_ , a people pleaser by nature and an optimist at heart. Truth be told he has always found it rewarding to provide the reassuring and consistent presence in the lives of those he came into contact with. He couldn't help it. He was just the big brother type, a persona his mother had only helped mold and maintain in his youth. Motoki’s mother, a soft and gentle being, had always told him, since he was first able to toddle along, that he was a sunshine boy. At night she would sweep back his blonde locks from his face, kiss the top of his head and whisper in his ear. 

_“Honey you are like the sun on a spring day. You’re bright, warm and welcoming. You’re my little sunshine.”_

His mother had brought him up with the belief that, just like how everyone was always pleased to see the sun, the same principle applied to him. Motoki had believed her every word, after all why should he not? Her love and support has only fueled Motoki’s own confidence and sense of self, so much so, that when his mother had announced that they would have a new baby coming soon, Motoki hadn’t been shaken. 

Their mother had spoken of her hope that their household would always be a peaceful one. That Motoki and the new baby would get along, never arguing the way some siblings did. She would say this over and over again, one hand resting on her growing bump, the other caressing Motoki’s cheek. Motoki, always one to please, was determined to ensure his mother's wish would be fulfilled. In the end it had been as easy as breathing. Motoki had always fit the picturesque big brother mold and besides when Unauki had finally been born he had fallen in love at first sight. The moment his wide youthful eyes had seen her chubby little face and her little fingers had curled around his, Motoki's heart had been won. Whilst there of course had been many moments, especially in their younger youth, where Motoki had had to swallow back his own first responses and wants, it hadn’t been as difficult as others might imagine. 

In those times Motoki’s mother's words would play in his head and he’d been quick to realise the trivialness of his selfish desires. After all, what did it matter if Unazuki wanted to play with his favorite toys and as a result got her sticky fingers all over them in the process? It didn't. Not when her little mouth spread wide in a bright smile that warmed him to his core. So what if she broke one accidently, even when he had specifically told her not to touch them? How could he stay mad at her when her eyes filled with tears and her bottom lip quivered? He couldn’t. Motoki was always quick to forgive. Besides Unazuki would always persuade their father to buy him a new toy anyway, even offering some of her own allowance to help pay for the replacement. It hadn't been a hardship and when Unazuki would wrap her arms around him and kiss his cheek saying he was the “best brother ever” and his mother would look on, a soft smile on her lips and pride in her eyes, Motoki felt well rewarded. 

When Motoki had taken the job at the arcade center and Usagi and her group of friends had entered his life, he had taken to them much like he had Unazuki. Sure he had known Usagi had gained a crush on him and then her friend Makoto for a time, but it was innocent enough. In fact, if Motoki was honest with himself, it was flattering and he rather enjoyed being a source for their affections and attention. They were in his eyes cute little sisters and nothing more but even Motoki couldn’t help but indulge in Usagi’s affections. She, like him, was made of sunshine, only hers seemed far more intense than his own, and it was nice to bath in her warmth for a time each day. 

In the end Motoki had gone through the first sixteen years of his life never having any reason to doubt himself. Why should he, when at work he was surrounded by admiring eyes and when he ventured to his family home was welcomed by the warm embrace of his mother's love and his little sisters affectionate gaze. Life had been unproblematic to Motoki, so when the time came for him to join college, there had been no nerves, in fact he had been looking forward to the new friends he was sure he’d make. Motoki had expected more of the same from what life had previously given him. After all, he had never had any problem with others before, or at least that was how it had been before Mamoru had entered his life. 

They had met, or rather become acquainted, on the first day of college, both of them having the same class. Mamoru had been in the classroom and when Motoki and the others had arrived. Mamoru had been sitting alone in the back of the classroom, his head stuck in a book, one leg crossed over the other, as he leaned back in his chair. Motoki had been immediately struck by the modelesque pose and the almost regal quality to him. When he had heard his classmates as they shuffled into the room, Mamoru’s eyes had flicked up. He had glanced briefly over Motoki and the others in a hard penetrating stare. The striking deep blue tones of his eyes seemed to pierce straight into the soul of Motoki, so much so he stopped in his tracks. Motoki will admit he had been intimidated by the other boy. When Mamoru had given them all a brief once over, his face a blank canvas as he did so, revealing nothing of what he might be thinking, he gave them one curt nod and returned back to his book, his lips forming a steady line of what could be perceived as dismal and disapproval. At least that had certainly been what their other classmates had believed, all of them mumbling to themselves about his rude arrogant attitude. 

_“Unbelievable.”_

_“He didn’t even say hi.”_

_“How rude.”_

_“Who does he think he is?”_

_“He came here on that red motorbike...probably thinks he’s too good for us bus riding low lives.”_

Motoki couldn’t deny that the aura surrounding Mamoru at first glance could very innocently be mistaken for an uptight, superior ‘I’m much better than you so don’t talk to me’ attitude and as such put people’s backs up. His other classmates' feelings towards Mamoru had become sour during those first few moments of interaction and as such they made no attempt to include Mamoru in any outside activities. Motoki however, had been unsure of their analytical summary of this new mysterious classmate, but then Motoki the sunshine boy, had always had a knack for spotting people too long stuck out in the cold and in desperate need of the sun's warmth. Motoki had been intrigued by the loner boy and although he hadn’t dared voice his opinion with the others, knowing full well they would have dismissed his doubts as ludicrous, he began to pay much closer attention to Mamoru. Motoki had kept a silent vigil during their lessons. At lunch when Motoki would sit with his classmates conversing happily, he would secretly look for Mamoru out of the corner of his eye, spotting the other boy hiding under a tree, or at a table, but always in the shadows. Mamoru was stoic and for the most part silent. He barely joined in during lessons and when he did, it was to challenge the general consensus of the class, often leading itself to what was often perceived by his classmates as more snarky comments. Where Motoki became Mr. Congeniality, Mamoru was the outsider, Mr. Disagreeable. They were on two very different orbits and yet despite this Motoki maintained the belief that there was much more to this introvert than met the eye. Motoki had become completely intrigued by the enigma that was Mamoru and so he only studied him further. It wasn’t long before Motoki began to see the cracks in the miles and miles of walls Mamoru had built around himself. Motoki couldn't help but wonder if the way he acted was merely a self preservation tactic, a means of protection. This thought had only deepened his curiosity. 

Motoki began to hear the unspoken sigh of resigned resignation whenever Mamoru raised his hand to speak in class, as if Mamoru knew doing so would only alienate him further from his classmates and yet he would still do it. Mamoru seemed to have no problem upsetting others, not in a malicious and unkind way but rather was just opposed to holding his tongue regarding his own thoughts and opinions to sedate others. To Motoki that was a way of life he’d never experienced. After all he was the people pleaser and so the thought of upsetting the balance, unnerved him greatly. It seemed strange to him that Mamoru could do it so easily. Then again, whenever he was about to speak Mamoru would roll his shoulders back, as if preparing for battle and then with apparent ease transform his face into one of unabashed indifference. However Motoki soon came to realise that if you paid close enough attention to him, you could see the slight tension in the shape of Mamoru’s mouth. So maybe he wasn’t as unaffected as Motoki first believe. Motoki also began to see the hint of shadows under his eyes and the dark glint in them, an empty hollow loneliness hidden in the depths of his otherwise striking deep blue eyes. The longer he watched him, the more it seemed to Motoki as if there were a multitude of Mamoru’s all crammed into one body. The arrogant jerk, the independent loner and the almost childlike aura of a little lost boy. Once he had seen it Motoki had been unable to unsee it. 

~~

Looking back, Motoki is still not a hundred percent sure as to why he'd decided to approach Mamoru when it seemed quite clear that he wasn’t interested in making friends, but Motoki found he just couldn’t help himself. He’d wanted to get to know Mamoru better and had been convinced that he was going to be the friend Mamoru was so clearly in desperate need of. It just felt like his responsibility, after all wasn’t that what sunshine boys did? Motoki’s not sure what he had been expecting from that first real exchange, that Mamoru would immediately be full of gratitude that he had taken the time? Maybe. That Mamoru would be shy and reserved but tentatively welcoming? Most likey. Either way, if that was what he’d been expecting Motoki had experienced a rather rude awakening. In the end it had turned out to be much more difficult to get under those barriers Mamoru had erected around himself, far harder than Motoki had been prepared for. 

Motoki had approached Mamoru at lunch time, ignoring his classmates calls of “you're wasting your time”. As usual Mamoru was seated at a table that was situated in the shadows. Motoki had felt the temperature drop as he walked out of the sun's rays and over to the table Mamoru was sitting at. His nerves already making his throat feel tight. Motoki began doubting his decision before Mamoru had even registered him, but it was too late to turn back now. Mamoru frowned at him, eyes narrowed suspiciously as if he suspected Motoki to suddenly pull out a concealed weapon and attack him.

“Can I help you?” Mamoru eventually said, eyebrow quipped when Motoki had simply stood in front of him silently. Motoki had let out a puff of air, a failed attempt at a chuckle. 

“Oh um yeah I just wanted to formally introduce myself. I’m Motoki Furuhata, I believe we’re in the same class.” Motoki smiled his best smile, full of warmth and friendliness, hoping that it might melt the icy chill that seemed to be radiating from Mamoru. 

“Right.” Mamoru nodded, not quite dismissive but not exactly welcoming either. Motoki had waited a few seconds expecting Mamoru to say something else and when he didn’t Motoki coughed nervously, scratching at the back of his head. 

“And you’re Mamoru Chiba,” Motoki said, inwardly cringing at himself for stating such an obvious thing, but he honestly couldn’t think of anything else to say. 

“Hmmm.” Mamoru hummed, his interest lost, eyes already returning to his book. Motoki had stood there silent for a few seconds, waiting and expecting Mamoru to say something else and when he didn’t Motoki stood in surprise for another minute before finally breaking the silence. 

“Um, could I maybe sit with you?” Motoki asked, clearing his throat nervously as a new unfamiliar feeling of uncomfortableness crept up his spine. He’d never been uncomfortable around anyone before. Human interaction has always been so easy for him but the awkward tension that seemed to perpetuate the air was creating an atmosphere Motoki was not used to and he didn’t like it either. 

Mamoru without taking his eyes off his book had lifted a leg and kicked the opposite chair out from under the table. Motoki had looked between the chair and Mamoru and when Mamoru then glanced up at him before looking pointedly at the empty chair, Motoki took that to mean that yes he could sit with him, and took a seat. 

Their interaction had continued in that manner. Mamoru had seemed to fight Motoki at every turn during the conversation, offering him very little motivation to continue, presenting a wall of silence and the odd body language movement here and there, all the while keeping his eyes firmly fixed to his book. When Mamoru did vocalise a response all his answers had been sharp and to the point leaving little room for a natural progression of conversation. In the end, after Motoki had finished his lunch he had politely bid Mamoru goodbye and wondered if this was worth the trouble. Perhaps his classmates had been right. Was he wasting his time? 

When similar instances occurred every time Motoki approached Mamoru, Motoki had almost given up. Expect there was always that nagging thought in the back of his brain that he couldn't let go of. The voice that said maybe Mamoru curtness was simply a reflex action, a product of his life's events. However there was also the voice that crept out of the deep recesses of Motoki’s mind that whispered with cruel intent, that maybe he only behaved that way because he was genuinely attempting to get Motoki to leave because it was _Motoki_ he didn’t like. That Motoki was right and Mamoru did want a friend, just not one like Motoki. It had been the first time in his life that he had ever doubted himself and it caused a sicken swelling in his chest and a queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. 

It was this feeling that made Motoki continue to pursue the elusive friendship of Mamoru Chiba, even when his pursuit of their friendship meant that his other classmates began to drift away from him, leaving him for all intents and purposes, a loner as well. The problem was Mamoru had awoken something inside of Motoki, a vicious self deprecating voice of self doubt and Motoki was determined to eradicate it. Motoki had been so determined to keep his sunshine boy reputation intact that the tone of their odd relationship had changed, becoming more about Motoki himself rather than saving Mamoru from an existence of solitude. 

Looking back on it, Motoki wonders if that had been the first time in his life that he had ever really pursued something with a purely selfish and self-serving motivation. Motoki’s original good intentions had certainly been stripped away, leaving a more sensitive part of himself exposed. An insecurity he believed he would never have had taken its place. How could Mamoru not like him? He was a likable guy. Everyone liked him... _right_? He had lots of friends... _didn’t he_? In the weeks that followed Motoki began to retrace his childhood, analysing every friendship he’d ever had. 

In his retrospection Motoki noticed a similar trait in all his previous friendships, how so many of them had simply drifted into acquaintances as the years went by. He realised with a heavy thud that despite being surrounded by many, Motoki had never had someone he could ever call a best friend. All his previous relationships had been solely reliant on Motoki bending and adapting to their likes and interests, so much so that his own had been pushed to the side or very rarely spoken about. Motoki had always been so focused on pleasing others, so frightened they would turn away from him, that he’d forgotten to please himself and as such he’d come to realise that none of his “friends” really knew who he was and if that was the case could Motoki really claim to have friends? 

It had been this realisation that had sparked Motoki into a new action plan. Not for Mamoru, but himself. Whilst Motoki hadn’t changed completely, after all he did like himself at the core of his personality, Motoki did begin to make small changes here and there. Instead of conforming to others interests, Motoki began to express his own, even when they differed from others. For instance when, in class, Mamoru had spoken an opinion Motoki agreed with but the majority of the class did not, Motoki made sure to raise his own voice, no longer staying silent in fear of what his classmates might think of him. Sure he got a few looks here and there, but overall it was liberating, he began to understand why Mamoru always had, even when faced with the adversity of unlikeability. 

Motoki hadn’t stopped there though. He had also made sure to let Mamoru know when he disagreed with him as well, which honestly ended up being a large majority of the time. The first time Motoki had outwardly spoken his conflicting opinion they had been having lunch in their usual manner. Mamoru’s head down in a book, his cup of tea by the side of him practically ignoring Motoki, only responding when absolutely necessary. Although to give him his dues Mamoru had brought Motoki a coffee, even adding the two extra sugars that he liked, maybe Mamoru had been paying more attention to him than Motoki had given him credit for.

Motoki can’t remember now exactly what they had been discussing only that he was disagreeing with him and that he was rather passionate about it. He’s pretty sure he might have slammed a fist down on the table to emphasize his point. Motoki might not remember all the details of the conversation but he does remember, with complete clarity, how Mamoru had stopped and looked at him, really looked. Mamoru’s mouth had dropped open, eyes widening as an expression of pleasant surprise suddenly crossed his features. Mamoru had studied him for a moment, those blue eyes piercing right down into Motoki’s soul, only Motoki didn’t wilt. This time he matched the gaze, defiant. Then Mamoru had done something Motoki had not been expecting. He’d smiled. A genuine smile. The sight was both alarming and also filled Motoki with a pride he hadn’t experienced before, maybe because this smile had to be earnt, whereas the others he’d received in his life had been so freely given. In one swift motion Mamoru had closed his book and picked up his tea. 

“Really you think so? Tell me more.” Mamoru had said, leaning back in his chair and waiting for Motoki’s response in what could only be described as genuine interest. 

Perhaps it had been this exchange that had finally gotten Mamoru to stop and actually notice him, rather than merely keeping up polite conversations, but for whatever reason from that moment on things between them began to change. Suddenly they were going on walks after class, discussing and debating the syllabus and then one thing would lead to another and before they knew it they were talking about other things too, simple things, like what movies they liked and their favorite books. 

Getting to know Mamoru beyond study and trivial facts was a slow progression. Mamoru was still guarded and reluctant to reveal much about himself, whereas Motoki was more than happy to share, especially now he was no longer worrying about whether or not doing so would cause Mamoru to turn away from him. Motoki had already decided that if he and Mamoru were going to become friends then Motoki was going to unabashedly be himself in every instance, even if Mamoru remained elusive. If this friendship was going to happen it was going to be a real one, the first in his life. Eventually Mamoru did begin to open up to Motoki as the trust between them deepened. Mamoru provided snippets of information here and there and the more time the two boys began to spend with one another, the more Mamoru shared. 

Motoki discovered over the months that followed that Mamoru Chiba had grown up completely differently from himself. Where Motoki had had the hearth of home, Mamoru had been left alone in darkness at the tender age of 6. Orphaned with the memory of his parents having been stripped away cruelly . Mamoru had grown up to have a much bleaker outlook on life and the people that inhabited it. This information only made Motoki understand Mamoru more. His cold attitude for one. It wasn’t that Mamoru meant to be rude, difficult or curt; it was just that over the years he’d found it easier. Vulnerability was not something Mamoru was comfortable with and the truth of the matter was that in order to have a relationship of any sort, vulnerability was required, but vulnerability also meant that you could get hurt. Having someone almost meant you could lose them. Mamoru was terrified of losing anymore than he already had. 

“It’s a lot easier not to miss something if you’ve never had it. Don’t you think?” Mamoru said, one night when they’d been strolling back from an art exhibition. They’d been talking about one of the art works, “hole in the art” by a local artist who had created the artwork in memory of their lost partner and child who had tragically died in a car accident. 

“No. I think it’s just as hard.” Motoki responded without missing a beat, placing a reassuring hand on Mamoru’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze, knowing full well what Mamoru was really saying. Mamoru smiled, a turn of the lips that didn’t quite reach his eyes. The familiar ache Motoki felt in own chest whenever he was confronted with the tragedy of his friends' past, began to flare up. He was about to say something, when Mamoru sighed and spoke. 

“Come on let’s eat. There’s a new restaurant downtown that’s supposed to have the best Hayashi Rice around.” Mamoru said, shaking his head as if were shaking away the weight of his thoughts. 

“Ah my mum might have something to say about that.” Motoki grinned, feeling the ache lessen inside his chest when Mamoru chuckled with genuine amusement. 

“I’m glad I’ve got you.” Mamoru said abruptly a second later, in an emotional admission he didn't often voice, taking Motoki by surprise. Motoki was about to say the same, that words could not convey how grateful he was that Mamoru was in his life, when Mamoru quickly turned on his heel and strode ahead. 

“Come on slowpoke. The last one there buys the drinks.” Mamoru called over his shoulder to Motoki. Motoki shook his head fondly at Mamoru and picked up his pace.

~~

Mamoru had been a loner since childhood and as such had grown so used to the ache inside his chest that he was no longer acutely aware of it’s presence or at least was a lot better at dealing with it. The loneliness had become a familiar companion, the only one he had, it had therefore been almost impossible for him to imagine a life without it and so when Motoki had first approached him with welcoming smiles and an olive branch of friendship he hadn’t known how to react. Mamoru had explained to Motoki that a part of him had suspected that it had been some prank, a game or bet of some sort, the other part, the one tucked deep inside the hollow hole inside him grew hopeful that maybe he had finally found someone who wouldn't run away from him despite the cloud that surrounded him, someone who would understand him but also challenge him. Who would force him out of the fortress he’d kept himself locked within all these years. Motoki certainly did that, in his own way. 

The two boys were completely different from one another, especially when it came to dealing with the world and its inhabitants, their temperaments on such matters were polar opposite. In fact they rarely fully agreed on anything, but that seemed to work for them. Theirs was a comfortable relationship of an "agree to disagree" philosophy, and in reality despite this fact, or perhaps because of it, Motoki and Mamoru realised that they balanced each other out. Yin and Yang if you will. Motoki stopped Mamoru from falling too far into the shadows, to remember to feel the sunshine once in a while, whilst Mamoru challenged Motoki to think of himself, to admit his own wants and desires and put himself first for a change. 

“You shouldn’t just give in just because it’s easier or makes them happy, not if it doesn't make you happy.” Mamoru scolded, expression stern when Motoki admitted that he had missed their scheduled afternoon together because his sister had wanted him to take her to the new mall which had just opened and then she’d begged him to stay and help her choose things and carry the bags. 

“Come on man, you know better than most, sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to, or did you actually enjoy your job at the fish market?” Motoki countered, leaning in closer and sniffing the air next to Mamoru, scrunching his nose up in mock disgust. In reality Mamoru smelt of nothing more than a musk cologne. Motoki made a mental note to ask him what kind it was later.

“Don’t deflect.” Mamoru refuted. Flicking Motoki on the forehead when Motoki winked back at him. 

“I’m just saying you have a right to say no you know.” Mamoru continued a moment later and Motoki knew he wasn’t talking about him ditching him to spend time with Unazuki. 

“I know that.” Motoki reassures, although there’s still a part of him that couldn't quite wrap his head fully around the idea. After all, if he was only mildly opposed to the idea but the other person had their heart set on it, shouldn’t he just go along with it. Motoki hadn’t realised he’d said that aloud until he heard Mamoru sigh and felt him clasp him on the shoulder. 

“Motoki the problem is you do it all the time. You’re always the one bending and it’s not like everyone you do that for does it back is it.” Mamoru sighed, exasperated with his friend. 

“Fine, the next time if I’m even a little bit reluctant I say no. Happy?” Motoki grinned, bumping their shoulders together.

“Hmmm.” Mamoru hummed, still not convinced but dropping it for now. 

“Anyway what about you mister isolation. I thought you were going to try expanding your acquaintances. Wasn’t that what we agreed?” Motoki said, happy to turn the tables around on Mamoru and loving the way his shoulders shifted in that classic way that let him know Mamoru was about to squirm, even if it was just internally. 

“I never agreed. You just decided I had.” Mamoru deadpanned, acting like he couldn't give two hoots. It was Motoki’s turn to sigh in exasperation. Still, as they were on the subject he wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to lecture Mamoru, not when Mamoru enjoyed doing it to him so much. 

“Oh come, you know it’s not healthy to shut yourself away from everybody and I can't be with you all the time. Wasn’t it you that said a person shouldn't be solely reliant on someone else.”

“I’m not reliant on you.” Mamoru said defensively and Motoki rolled his eyes, unconvinced. 

“Sure you’re not.” Motoki scoffed in disbelief and thumped Mamoru on the shoulder. 

“Oh by the way the movie theatre is doing two movies for the price of one if you bring a friend for the new movies that are opening next week. You want to go?” Mamoru asked in a blatant attempt at changing the subject. 

“What are the movies about?” Motoki replied, his interest piqued. 

“There foreign period dramas...”

“No.” Motoki said before Mamoru could even finish his sentence and raised his eyebrows playfully at Mamoru. Mamoru got his meaning imminently, Motoki wasn’t a huge foreign movie fan but he always came anyway, and rolls his eyes dramatically though his lips turn upwards. 

“Fine, guess I’ll just pay full price and go by myself.” Mamoru said with a shrug. Motoki lips twitched and a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. 

“By yourself? What do you mean? Don’t you have another friend you can do the deal with? I thought you weren't reliant on me.” Motoki's voice was filled with that classic gleeful joy you experience when someone walks right into the trap and proves your point for you. 

“Touché.” Mamoru groaned. 

~~

Motoki and Mamoru were soon so close that, whenever his dark haired companion came to mind, the thought best friend always followed. However just because the two of them had become such good companions did not mean that they were glued to the hip. Not like the group of friends Motoki would see in the arcade on a regular basis. Motoki and Mamoru were different in so many ways that they found they needed some space to maneuver into the respective lanes that didn’t suit the other. Mamoru and Motoki could go days without seeing one another. 

Mamoru often needed a chance to retreat from the world and sit in the silence of his own thoughts for a time, especially during certain times of the year, such as his birthday and the anniversary of his parents death. Motoki on the other hand needed the hustle and bustle of human interaction in order to keep his spirits high and often picked up extra shifts at the arcade to suit his needs. However there was also an unspoken understanding between the two of them, that meant that although they may drift apart for some time, their relationship itself was left unchanged and that a phone call was always expected. That or a short greeting as Mamoru walked home from whatever new job he’d secured for the time being. Thiers was a friendship of maturity and understanding, reserved solely for them. 

Mamoru, although he had made the acquaintance of Motoki’s family had not become, like so many movies Motoki has seen depicted, a part of Motoki’s family. He didn’t come round for mandatory family dinners on a Sunday. Unazuki hadn’t taken one look at him and fallen in love, though Motoki will admit he had been concerned that she might. Turns out though that Mamoru was not Unazuki’s type and as such saw him more like another big brother than anything else. Motoki’s mother, although she liked Mamoru, didn’t dote on him like he was her own son. Motoki’s two lives, family and social, remained separate and Motoki had found he liked it better that way. Besides, as Mamoru continually told him. 

“I’m not looking for a family Motoki. I’m happy as I am.” 

Motoki knew that it was a lie, that it was just another one of Mamoru’s self-preserving reflex statements. Motoki has known that Mamoru was on the lookout for something from the first time he saw him. At first he thought it was just a friend but when the haunted look in Mamoru’s eyes hadn’t disappeared even after they'd become what they were, Motoki had begun to suspect it ran deeper. That what he was searching for was something far more integral, almost like he was missing a part of his soul. When Motoki had begun to fall for Reika, emotions stirring inside of him and creating a tsunami of longing, Motoki wondered if what Mamoru was looking for was love.

Motoki, who had never experienced feelings of this nature. had turned to his friend for advice on how best to deal with this new found attraction. Mamoru had encouraged him to pursue his feelings and to ask Reika out. Mamoru had been nothing but the supportive friend, his mouth curling up softly as Motoki had confessed to him his growing feelings for Reika. Mamoru had advised him and spoken about the importance of honesty and how love could only bloom where the heart's truth lived, an air of melancholy surrounding him. 

“What if she doesn't want to go?” Motoki queried one day when he had decided tomorrow would be the day he’d ask Reika out on a date and was worried about the rejection he could be setting himself up to endure. 

“Motoki she’s been eyeing you up for weeks. I’m pretty sure she’ll say yes.” Mamoru said calmly, pulling out his sunglasses and putting them on as they walk around the park. 

“Yeah you say that, but what if it’s not what you think. Maybe she just sees me as a friend.” Motoki reasoned, confusion and doubt swirling in his head like a whirlwind. 

“Sure she might, but you’re never going to know unless you ask the question.” Mamoru said, pulling down his sunglasses down a bit in order to give Motoki a pointed look. It’s not exactly what Motoki had wanted to hear and he sighed running a hand over his face. 

“Ahh.” Motoki groaned into his palm and Mamoru slid his glasses back up his face whilst he gave an exasperated sigh, one that conveyed in sound the thought. 'What am I going to do with you.'

“Look Motoki, matters of the heart, they can’t be predicted or controlled. In the end they’re a leap on faith and it’s up to you whether or not she’s worth the risk. Is the death you could face to hold her in your embrace a price you're willing to pay.” 

Motoki had stopped in his tracks and looked at Mamoru curiously. Motoki couldn’t help but notice how his eyes were creasing in the corners. Even though he was wearing sunglasses Mamoru's eyes seemed to twinkle and shine . His face was a strange mixture of emotions that Motoki couldn’t place. It seemed to Motoki to be a look of someone remembering their own love story, only Motoki had known that Mamoru had never actively pursued a relationship with anyone. Alright so there was some strange thing going on with one of Usagi’s friends. Rei, Motoki believed her name was. He’d asked Mamoru about it earlier and well...

_“You told me to expand my friendship group, remember?” Mamoru had said with a shrug, like it was nothing._

_“Yeah I did, but I didn't expect you to date a middle schooller?” Motoki replied, not quite judgmental, but not exactly neutral either._

_It wasn’t that Motoki disapproved because Rei was a middle schooller and as such four years younger than them. Age was just a number and in reality four years was nothing in the long scheme of things. So long as Mamoru was being respectful, Motoki didn’t have a problem. It was just that Mamoru hadn’t shown any interest in women before and it had seemed odd that he’d chosen Rei of all people to date. Completely out of the blew Motoki might add. Then again Motoki knew they were both quiet souls and had suffered in the darkness of their past, perhaps that was why he enjoyed her company._

_“We’re not dating, we’re just hanging out.” Mamoru had grunted at him, shoulders hunching uncomfortably at the turn the conversation was taking._

_“Really?” Motoki had said, surprised, because he’s sure he’s heard Rei say the words `boyfriend’, ‘dating’ and ‘Mamoru’ in a sentence much to Usagi’s hysterical disgust._

_Usagi had flailed for a good solid five minutes and eventually when she refused to calm down Rei had left. Usagi had stayed at the arcade, smashing the keys of the arcade machines shouting “die, die, die” and looking mightily upset for hours. It had taken Motoki spending the rest of the afternoon by her side cheering her on before she eventually came out of her cloud of anger. The anger Motoki could actually understand, it was no secret that Mamoru and her didn’t get on, so of course she’d be upset that her friend was dating her nemesis. What had confused Motoki had been the dismay in her eyes, the way they looked like they might fill with tears at any moment. If Motoki hadn't know better he would have said she was devastated, that she was heartbroken even. That had confused the heck out of Motoki, but Motoki often found that he was confused by Usagi and her bandit of girlfirends._

_“It’s not exactly like that. Sure we spend time together and she’s a nice girl and I like her, but it’s not like I’m you know.” Mamoru had fumbled, running a hair through his hair and looking into the sky as if he would find the inspiration and words to explain this properly._

_“Motoki I don’t have no time for trivial romance. I have work to do.” Mamoru had finally said as if that explained everything but of course Motoki had just been left wondering what work Mamoru was referring to. He hadn’t dared ask, something told him not to._

Motoki had dropped it after that and so far as he had known Mamoru relationship with Rei wasn’t romance, at least that’s what he’d thought a minute ago. Before Mamoru had begun speaking with such confidence and knowledge on the subject of love and romance. The fact was it seemed strange to Motoki that Mamoru would be able to do so unless he himself was in fact…no way. 

“Mamoru are you…” Motoki left the end of that sentence hanging unspoken. 

“Am I what?” Mamoru asked, glancing over at him with eyebrows raised. 

“Are you…” Motoki waved his hands in the air as if that should be enough to convey his meaning, when Mamoru continued to frown at him in confusion Motoki swallowed and leaned closer to Mamoru. 

“Are you in love.” He whispered conspiratorially, heart picking up pace as he waited for Mamoru’s response. He didn’t have to wait long. 

“What?!” Mamoru exclaimed, taking a step back, a look of horrific confusion etched across his expression. 

“Are you in love,” Motoki said again, a little louder this time, “with Rei.” He added a beat later just to clarify.

“What the...No.” Mamoru had said firmly, holding his hands up and waving them frantically as if to push back the accusation, like it was an assailant about to attack and kill him. 

“No?” Motoki echoed back, now even more confused than before. He’d been sure he’d just uncovered something. 

“NO!” Mamoru practically shouted, causing several other people to turn their heads and stare at them. Mamoru smiled politely at the woman walking her dog who pursed her lips at them disapproving before he grabbed Motoki’s arm and and dragged him away from the scene they had made. 

“You’re unbelievable Motoki. How could you think I’m in love with Rei? Are you insane? She’s a friend. I mean I know we’re… but we’re just...I’m not in love with her.” Mamoru muttered frantically, to himself or Motoki, Motoki wasn’t sure. All Motoki knew was the way Mamoru was currently carrying on, reminded him vividly of Usagi. 

Also there was something about the inflections in his voice when he said certain words. Like the way he had said 'friend', Motoki couldn’t help but feel like there was something hidden in that word, but more than that it was the way he had said the word ‘her’ as if to say ‘how could you think I’m in love with Rei when I’m in love with…

“Well you’re the one dating her.” Motoki replied defensively, tugging his arm out of his grip, slightly irked that Mamoru was behaving this way especially when it was his fault in the first place. How was Motoki supposed to know what was going on in that stupid brain of his, if Mamoru never explained anything fully to him. This was exactly why Motoki had been trying to get Mamoru to be more open, so miscommunications like this wouldn't happen. 

“I’m not dating her.” Mamoru almost growled through gritted teeth, though his jaw twitched after he’d said it, as if even he wasn’t sure if that statement was true or not. 

“Well I’m pretty sure she thinks so, and I know for a fact that Usagi does.” Motoki huffs, getting really annoyed now. Not just for himself but for Rei as well. If Mamoru was playing with her feelings and heart then it wouldn't just be Motoki who’d be after him. He’s heard Rei’s grandpa was small but fierce and Motoki knows he certainly wouldn't want to be on the wrong side of him and honestly if Mamoru was messing with Rei he deserved everything he got. 

“Usagi, thinks we’re dating?” Mamoru’s voice is faint, almost a whisper. Motoki was so wrapped up in his own frustration that it took him a second to realise that Mamoru had spoken. When his words finally register, Motoki wants to bang his head on a brick wall. 

“Well yeah of course she does.” Motoki said, utterly exasperated by his apparent clueless friend. He was beginning to doubt whether he should even take Mamoru’s advice regarding Reika now. Mamoru appeared more clueless than him. 

At Motoki’s words Mamoru stiffened and his expression transformed into one of pained guilt. Which was... _interesting_ but also even more confusing. This was just like that day in the arcade with Usagi. Honestly what was it with those two and why did they continue to baffle Motoki. Motoki took a deep breath, before releasing it and with it his anger. After all, what was the point? 

“Look I’m sorry” Motoki sighed. 

“I just thought with everything you were saying about me and Reika that it was because you know, you had experience in the matter.” Motoki explained, slightly concerned as Mamoru continued to look off into the distance, apparently oblivious to Motoki’s presence and clearly lost in his own thoughts. 

“Mamoru?” Motoki called, waving a hand in front of his face. 

“Huh?” Mamoru mumbled, blinking rapidly as if to bring himself back to the present. 

“I said I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. It really isn’t my business what’s happening between you and Rei. I just thought you had more experience in the matter because of what you were saying.” 

Mamoru nodded thoughtfully, though Motoki is pretty sure those thoughts are not regarding Motoki’s apology. Mamoru shrugged, straighten up his jacket and smiled at Motoki, a fake smile that has Motoki pursuing his lips. 

“Oh well yeah you know you don’t have to have experience to have an opinion on it Motoki.” Mamoru said, pulling off his sunglasses and giving them a quick wipe before putting them back on. Nervous tick. Motoki thinks but doesn't say anything. 

“Besides I’m a genius so you should be used to this by now.” Mamoru teased, clearly trying to lighten the mood. Motoki forced out a huffed laugh, not sold but resolved to give in anyway. The pair continued their walk in silence after that but the whole time Motoki was left with a nagging thought, Mamoru’s words going rough and round his head. 

“I’m not in love with her.” 

By the time Motoki gets home he’s almost sure that if Mamoru is not already in love with someone, then he’s certainly falling for someone and it’s not Rei. Which begs the question as to who it is. It’s not till a few weeks later that the pieces finally fall into place for Motoki. 

~~

“Yeah well at least I have some fashion sense!” Usagi spits at Mamoru before turning around on her heels in order to storm away, in what Motoki is sure is meant to be a strong and empowered manner. However, Usagi being Usagi, spins so fast that her hair flies widely around her and whips her in the face causing her to splutter and fail backwards, arms waving erratically as she loses her balance. Motoki winces, automatically bracing himself for the sound of her falling onto the concrete floor and the hysterical wailing that would be sure to follow, only it never comes. 

Instead Motoki watches as Mamoru, in what can only be described as rehearsed familiarity, as if he’s had to do this multiple times that his body now automatically responds, like he’s connected to her every movement, moves at lighting speed and places a hand on Usagi’s back pushing her forward gently so she is once more balanced. Motoki is left highly impressed with the reflexes of Mamoru and judging by the strangled surprised sound Usagi makes, so is she. 

Usagi glances over her shoulder and Mamoru and her eyes meet. For a moment the world seems to stand still, or at least that’s how it appears to be for the two of them. For Motoki the world should have carried on unaffected and under normal circumstances it would have but ever since the park incident with Mamoru, Motoki has been keeping a close eye on all of Mamoru’s interactions, especially those involving the opposite sex. Motoki couldn’t help it, the suspicion that had that bloomed inside of Motoki that day, the one that said Mamoru and his usually heavily concealed heart may have been failing for someone, if not already head over heels with them, had wormed its way into Motoki’s brain and wouldn’t leave him alone. As such, ever since he has been on the lookout for the source. 

So far Motoki has watched Mamoru like a hawk and seen...nothing. Although polite enough to anyone he met during passing, Mamoru remained his elusive enigma aura and as far as Motoki could tell had not formed any significant feelings or connections with anyone Motoki hadn’t met before. Mamoru was still a loner outside of his friendship with Motoki and his time spent with Rei. However Motoki was a hundred percent certain that Rei was not ‘the one’. Mamoru was fond of her for sure and seemed to enjoy her company well enough but the basis of their relationship, at least from Motoki’s perspective, seemed to be built upon their mutual understanding of one another's personalities and the similarities they shared rather than attraction. Both of them had been outsiders most of their lives and from what little Mamoru had spoken to Motoki about Rei, Mamoru admired Rei’s resilience and maturity she often showed, at least when she wasn’t bantering and arguing with Usagi. There was a solace that lay between them but that was all. 

Crossing Rei off the list had left only one other person that, at least that Motoki could think of, Mamoru interacted with on a regular familiar basis. Usagi. At first that had seemed ridiculous. After all Usagi and Mamoru spent most of their time at each other's throats. Still, in the name of thorough observation, Motoki had been paying partially close attention to Mamoru’s interactions with Usagi anyway. Which is why now, he is much more aware of what is transpiring in front of him, more so than even Mamoru and Usagi appear to be.

It was true that the majority of their run-ins resulted in Mamoru making some comment that sent Usagi off in a huff, cheeks red and flustered. However there also appeared to be something else that lay hidden in the insults and frustrations. Motoki hasn’t quite been able to put his finger on it. He might have called it unresolved attraction if it wasn’t for the fact that it seemed such a ridiculous notion considering how Usagi swore up and down that she hated Mamoru guts and Mamoru seemed so indifferent to Usagi’s onslaught of insults of his character and continued to push her buttons. Surely if he liked her he’d be trying to win her affection rather than continually tease her. 

The thing was though neither Usagi or Mamoru seemed to function in the most normal of fashions and that thought was blaring in his head at the sight of the two of them standing there, eyes locked together. Motoki eyebrows knit together in concentration, desperately trying to figure out why on earth is going on. 

Standing silently transfixed, as the hustle and bustle of the arcade continues Motoki intensifies his observance of the pair, as Usagi and Mamoru continue to stand together as if suspended in time. Motoki notices with piqued interest how Mamoru still hasn’t removed his hand from Usagi’s back and how when Usagi turns around a little more in order not to strain her neck whilst looking at him, Motoki suspects, Mamoru’s hand slips down, sliding around Usagi’s body so that it ends up resting against her waist. 

Motoki's eyes narrow in surprise when Mamoru’s eyes suddenly dart down to steal a quick glimpse at Usagi’s lips as she draws her bottom lip through her teeth. As if following his lead, Usagi's own eyes travel down Mamoru’s face softly, landing on his lips. Mamoru swallows almost audibly and Usagi’s eyes flick quickly back to his face. Motoki holds his breath as both of their eyes grow a little wider, pupils dilating. Usagi’s cheeks are starting to bloom pink and both of them seem to be breathing a little heavier, chests rising and falling at a quicken pace. Motoki's own heart hammers against his rib cage as the waves of tension roll off the entangled pair, the air around them practically sparking from the unresolved energy between them. 

Mamoru’s fingers begin to tighten around Usagi’s waist, fingertips digging into the fabric of her school uniform, scrunching up the material. Motoki can’t help but wonder if he’s doing it to hold her in place or to stop his hands from wandering. Maybe both? Usagi on her part is starting to lean a little closer to Mamoru of her own accord, her own fingers twitching by her side as if she’s holding herself back from reaching up and sweeping back the hair that has fallen into Mamoru's face. The whole scene is intimate on so many levels that Motoki feels embarrassed that he’s watching. He can feel his own cheeks flooding with heat, his ears are no doubt tinged red. 

It’s suddenly so obvious to him that Motoki wonders how on earth he could have misconstrued it before. Mamoru likes her, really _likes_ her. So why the consent teasing? Motoki thinks back to the way Mamoru always watched Usagi as she stomped away from him, his mouth curved upwards. How a gleeful twinkle would always shine in his eyes the moment he saw her and how without fail he would seek her out, just to rile her up. The joyous aura that would overtake him after being in her presence, even when she was screaming at him. Motoki likens Mamoru’s behavior to a child, seeking out attention. In fact Mamoru had been coming around to the arcade a lot more these days, he was here everyday without fail and always around the time the schools let out. Motoki had originally thought nothing of it, assuming it was to see him, but now...now he believed it had far more to do with the blonde haired girl of sunshine that it did with him, which under normal circumstances might have wounded him but right now he’s too in amazed shock to think of anything else. 

As for Usagi? Did she like Mamoru back? Looking at her now, all rosey cheeks and longing eyes, Motoki would say yes, yes she did. Motoki thinks back to Usagi’s usual crushes and the way she would swoon over them. She hadn’t shown that towards Mamoru. There had been no love heart eyes, squeals of glee or fawning. Instead Mamoru had gotten under her skin in a way Motoki had never seen anyone else do, except maybe Rei. When Mamoru was around Usagi became flustered and tongue tied and well maybe that had been more of a clue to her true feelings than anything else. It appeared that Mamoru had ignited something in Usagi, awakening something inside her that had been lying in a dormant state. Motoki thinks back to that day in the arcade and the look of heartache concealed in her gaze and is pretty sure Usagi really does like Mamoru back, even if she wasn't quite aware of it. 

Motoki can’t help it, the surprise and realisation that if nothing happens the two of them could very well be kissing in the middle of the arcade store has him blanching. He coughs or more honestly chokes on nothing but this sudden realization. Despite the arcade being full of noise, it's the sound of Motoki spluttering that seems to break the spell that had fallen over Mamoru and Usagi and they break apart quickly. Mamoru runs a hand through his hair and smoothing the loose strains back in place whilst Usagi brushes down her uniform, rubbing over the side of her waist where Mamoru hand had been several times, as if she was trying to wipe away the feeling of it and failing. 

“You’ve no coordination though.” Mamoru says as he steps back, referring back to Usagi’s early comment that at least she had fashion sense. Mamoru says it so casually, like he hadn’t just been in some sort of romantic entanglement, that even Motoki is taken aback. So it’s no surprise then that Usagi blinks back at him dumb founded for a moment. That is until his words suddenly register with her. When that happens Usagi’s face scrunches up into an expression of irritation and confusion. 

“Ah you’re such a jerk.” Usagi wails, pushing Mamoru further back by his chest, turning on her heel and this time storming off, the frustration she feels evident in the hunch of her shoulders and the faint sound of her muttering to herself. Mamoru laughs, his lips spreading wide in a broad smug smile, deep blue eyes sparkling with amusement and mischievous childlike joy. 

“See you later Bun head.” Mamoru calls after her, waving a hand even though she can’t see it. Whilst Usgail whirls around at the nickname to glare at him, thinking he was making fun of her Motoki can now hear the affection in it. The fondness in which his mouth forms the words, he wonders if Mamoru knows he’s even doing it. 

“USAGI!” she screams at him, stamping her foot on the ground hard, emphasising her disapproval and gesticulating with hands clenched into fists. Mamoru laughs again, a full body laugh, head thrown back as the sound comes from the pit of his stomach and takes over his whole being, one arm curling around his body to clutch at his side as the reverberation of sound courses through him. The darkness that usually clouds him is completely gone. Motoki lips press together holding back a smile as he realises with clarity that Mamoru always appears this way when Usagi has blown through his day. 

“AHHHH!” Usagi wails, sticking out her tongue at Mamoru before turning around again and picking up her pace, this time not looking back. Mamoru watches Usagi until she disappears around the corner and out of sight. 

Motoki looks on, fighting the urge to laugh at the blatant display of, well, typical rom com behavior. It’s clear to him that Usagi was not aware of the intentions behind Mamoru’s teasing, or even the source of her own fire that seems to come alive around him. That made sense to Motoki, Usagi was after all still young.

The fact that Mamoru however hadn’t seemed to put two and two together, was amusing on too many levels for Motoki to count. Mamoru was four years Usagi’s senior and as such should be able to control himself better. Especially when Motoki considered the fact that Mamoru was always spouting on about the honesty of one's heart. Hadn’t it been Mamoru he’d been going to for advice with regards to Reika. More than that Mamoru always acted so put together and mature, like all the time, that the fact he was resorting to childlike behaviors to maintain Usagi’s attention was just...hysterical was what it was.

Motoki tried really hard to hold in his laughter but he must not have been doing a very good job at concealing his amusement because when Mamoru turns around, he takes one look at Motoki’s expression and narrows his eyes. 

“What?” He asks, rolling his shoulders back, in a move that conveyed that he was feeling more than a little uncomfortable. It was as if he could hear the thoughts running through his best friend's head and already his defenses were coming up fast and thick.

“It’s her.” Motoki breathes quietly to himself, still reeling for the revelation, but also berating himself for not seeing it earlier. 

“Huh?” Mamoru says, face scrunching up. Motoki can’t help it, he smiles then. A half smile that only tugs at one side of his mouth. 

“Nothing.” Motoki says, feigning innocence and letting the matter drop. For being so smart sometimes Mamoru was completely clueless.

Truth be told Motoki kind of wants to bring it up. Wants to sit his best friend down, confront and pry out of him the details. He wants to find out exactly when Usagi stopped being the nameless random girl he’d bumped into one day and started being Usagi the bunhead that made him smile like that. Except he knows Mamoru too well and Mamoru was not one you could push into anything, not even the realization of his own heart. 

“You’re weird you know that?” Mamoru frowns, knowing full well that Motoki was hiding something from him, but deciding not to push the matter. Either because deep down he knew exactly what Motoki was referring to and he didn’t want to confront it, or maybe he wasn’t ever fully aware of it himself. Judging by the way Mamoru is looking at him, a deep crease in between his eyebrows, Motoki is pretty sure Mamoru has no idea just how hard he has fallen. 

“Right back at you dude.” Motoki chuckles shaking his head at the other boy fondly. 

Motoki had a feeling that things between Usagi and Mamoru would come to ahead soon enough. Just like he was also sure there were going to be a few more bumps along the way. There was Rei to consider, Motoki really hoped no heartbreak would have to be endured there. Whatever was to come, these two were not going to be taking an easy path, they were both too persistent and stubborn for that. 

However whatever was going to happen, one thing was clear. The two of them would just have to figure this out on their own. Motoki was just going to have to sit back, watch and wait. Mamoru would come to him if he needed him. Until then Motoki would just wait and watch...like always.


End file.
